21. Growing a Business and Team without Selling Your Soul with Lee Chaix McDonough

Also available on YouTube!

Hey leader, if you find yourself in need of a dose of heartfelt goodness and encouragement today, take a listen to this episode of The Impact Ripple podcast with my dear friend and coach, Lee Chaix McDonough.

Lee is the Founder of Coach with Clarity, where she helps women in helping professions create flexible and meaningful businesses that serve their people and support their families – without selling their souls. 

Interest peaked? I thought so! ;)

Lee shares her personal journey from being a psychotherapist living overseas with her family to supporting her husband in his business venture and eventually starting her own coaching business. 

We discuss the cyclical nature of business and how entrepreneurs can navigate challenging times through meaning, mindset, and mindfulness.

I love Lee’s analogy that just like the earth needs fallow periods for the soil to regenerate, businesses also have periods of growth, harvest, and fallow seasons where things may be tough. Yes, even the multi-6 and 7-figure businesses out there.

She advises entrepreneurs to show up and do the work, trusting that the cycle will continue and growth will come again.

We also dive into Lee's book, Act on Your Business, which addresses the principals of meaning, mindset, and mindfulness through an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lens. Lee shares that she wrote the book for herself and her clients as she found that ACT principles were applicable not just in a therapy room, but in life and business.

We discuss the importance of values in our personal lives, businesses, and families and emphasize that living a value-oriented life is simple but not easy, as sometimes our values can clash and compete with each other. 

Finally, we talk about coaching styles and the importance of understanding our own coaching style as leaders to best support and guide our teams. This episode is one of those feel-good conversations that will leave you feeling inspired and motivated in life and business.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The cyclical nature of business and how entrepreneurs can navigate the challenging times with meaning, mindset, and mindfulness.

• The importance of values in life and business and how to prioritize them globally, as well as in the moment.

• The benefits of knowing and understanding your coaching style as a leader to better support and guide your team.

Mentioned in This Episode: 

• The Impact Ripple Podcast #5: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Team with Core Values - https://www.sprouthr.co/5

• Coach With Clarity Podcast #153: Growing A Right Sized Business with Ashley Cox - https://www.coachwithclarity.com/growing-a-right-sized-business-with-ashley-cox

• ACT on Your Business Book - https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Your-Business-entrepreneurship-mindfulness-ebook/dp/B07LGF25Q2

• Discover Your Coaching Type - Coachingquiz.com

Transcription for Episode 21. Growing a Business and Team without Selling Your Soul with Lee Chaix McDonough

Ashley Cox  0:05  

Welcome to The Impact Ripple podcast the go to source for hiring and leadership made simple, doable and fun for visionary female business owners. I'm your host, Ashley Cox, author, certified HR expert and founder of Sprout HR. And I believe that you don't have to change who you are to be a great leader because you already are one. Join me as we kiss uncertainty and overwhelm goodbye and say hello to the tools and support you need to grow a profitable, sustainable, impactful team with more confidence and ease. 

Ashley Cox  0:43  

On today's episode, I'm joined by Lee Chaix McDonough. Lee is the founder of Coach with Clarity, where creative innovative professionals discover how to combine their talents, experience and intuition with a powerful coaching methodology so they can create a flexible, meaningful business that serves their people and supports their families without selling their souls. She's also the host of the Coach with Clarity podcast and author of the number one Amazon Best Seller Act On Your Business, braving the storms of entrepreneurship and creating success through meaning mindset and mindfulness. Lee lives in North Carolina with her husband, two sons and her adorable pug Phineas. 

Ashley Cox  1:32  

During our conversation, Lee shares about her journey from becoming a psychotherapist and living a military life overseas with her family to coming back home to the states and transitioning back into civilian life where she supported her husband early on in his business journey before beginning her own. We talk about her incredible business, her book act on your business, and we deep dive into Lee's mission, including how she lives it out fully in her own life and her business, as well as how she helps other women. And we wrap up our conversation with chatting about different coaching styles, why it's important as leaders to know our coaching styles and how to find out your personal coaching style. This episode is warm, heartfelt funny, and it normalizes a lot of the hard parts of starting growing and scaling a business and team has a leader. Now. Here's my conversation with Lee Chaix McDonough. I hope you enjoy. 

Ashley Cox  2:36  

Hey there and welcome to The Impact Ripple, Lee, I am so happy to have you joining me today.

Lee Chaix McDonough  2:42  

Ashley, I am so excited to be here. I have been looking forward to our conversation for weeks. So thanks so much for having me.

Ashley Cox  2:48  

Yes, me too. Me too. So Lee and I actually have known each other for a long time now, I think the beginning of our entrepreneurial journeys, is that right?

Lee Chaix McDonough  2:58  

Pretty much I think you and I kind of started our businesses right around the same time.

Lee Chaix McDonough  3:02  

So, about seven years ago. And it was just one of those friendships like we had our first conversation. And we just connected on this soul level right out of the gate. And I love those connections. And I think you know, Lee and I don't talk every week or every month, and sometimes we go several months. But every time you and I get on a call it is like, we never missed a beat.

Lee Chaix McDonough  3:27  

I feel the same way. And I feel like those friendships are special, the ones where you can take time away and come back and you pick up right where you left off. And it's like no time elapsed at all. Those are really special friendships. And I'm really honored to count you in that category.

Ashley Cox  3:44  

Ah, same my friend. Same, same same. So for our listeners, Lee's absolutely brilliant. You just heard me read her bio. She's just the coolest person I think I know. And I've had the honor and the pleasure of collaborating with her on several occasions over the years. So needless to say it is a real honor my friend to have you on our show today.

Lee Chaix McDonough  4:05  

Well the feeling's mutual. I think you are spectacular and to be on your show. This is like a mutual love fest. I get it right and we like Alright y'all, right? It's so true. It's so true because you are a dynamic woman you've done so much and I am just thrilled to to count you as a colleague and a friend.

Ashley Cox  4:21  

Oh my goodness. Okay, so now that we've built each other up so much, I hope that we fulfill that in our conversation today. Right? I'm sure we will. I'm sure we will. So recently I joined Lee on an episode of her podcast which is called Coach with Clarity and we talked about growing the right sized business and team and it was such a fantastic episode so you'll definitely want to pop over there. And check that out. Once you've finished listening to this episode, obviously, it is episode 153. Coach with Clarity podcast Don't worry, I'll drop you a link in the show notes so that you can find it easily. So today, I'm so excited to be talking to Lee about Her mission with her business coach was clarity. And I am a huge fan of this mission. So it is to help women create a flexible, meaningful business that serves their people and supports their family. And here's my favorite part without selling their souls. Yes, yes, we're gonna dive into that today. But let's start at the beginning. Because you have a really interesting career journey and how you got to be where you are today. So can you share a little bit about your journey with us?

Lee Chaix McDonough  5:33  

Absolutely. So before I started coaching, seven years ago, I was a psychotherapist, my background is in social work in public health, I did a dual degree program at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, where I also went for my Bachelor's, so I'm a Tar Heel through and through. And I spent almost 15 years supporting people in health care and mental health field. So because my husband was in the Air Force, we moved around a bit. And once I figured out how to navigate licensure issues from state to state, which is a pain in the butt, but it can be done. I did find actually that social work and being a therapist was a fairly portable profession. And it allowed me to find employment, essentially, everywhere we went. So I am really grateful that I have a variety of experiences. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  6:23  

As a therapist, I worked in hospitals, I worked in a neonatal intensive care unit, which actually might have been my favorite social work job ever. I worked for the military, the VA. And so in 2015, when my husband got out of the Air Force, and we moved back to the States, because we had been stationed in Germany for four years, we were going through a major transition. My kids were eight and six when we moved back, so they had essentially grown up in Germany. My husband was entering civilian life for basically the first time since he was in high school. He bought a dental practice because he's a periodontist. So there was a lot going on. And I decided that my full time job needed to be managing this transition. It was almost like project management for this, this move. And so I took about nine months off. And it was around that time where I started getting the itch to return to some sort of professional work. And yet, I knew in my gut, that mental health was no longer where I was meant to serve, which was exciting and terrifying all at the same time, because I had spent pretty much my entire life either wanting to be a therapist working towards becoming a therapist, finally becoming one and working as one. And it was like, if I'm not a therapist, if I'm not practicing as a social worker, any more than what am I? And how can I serve people? 

Ashley Cox  7:46  

Almost like an identity crisis? Right?

Lee Chaix McDonough  7:48  

Very much.

Ashley Cox  7:49  

So yeah, that's tough. So what about that transition? Did you find to be the hardest or the most challenging? Was it the identity crisis? Or was it figuring out how to even get this practice set up and started on your own? Or was it something different?

Lee Chaix McDonough  8:07  

I think it was a multitude of factors. Most of life, yes, fairpoint. While all of this was going on, my husband was learning how to not just be a periodontist, and not just be an exceptional clinician, which he is. But he was learning how to run a business and be a business owner and manage staff and deal with HR and payroll and all of the things that they don't teach you in dental school or in the Air Force. And it was challenging for both of us because I even though I wasn't, quote, unquote, working, or I should say, I wasn't working outside the home, I was definitely present for him. supporting his business, however I could. And so I was seeing firsthand the toll it was taking. It's a really unique tension when you are exceptional in one area, and you're just starting out in another. And I remember thinking to myself, that I wished there was someone out there who could support him, almost like a therapist for your business. And of course, I'm a bit of a researcher. So I started down the Google rabbit hole. And that's what led me to coaching and specifically business coaching. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  9:13  

And so I thought, okay, that might be good for him. That that might also be a path for me. What if I could leverage all of my training and experience from my first career, combine it with this on the job training I've received supporting my husband and his business and start coaching other people. And so that's when everything started to come together. And I really give a lot of credit to my husband, because in many ways, he was the inspiration for me even going down this path. And because it meant going through some really difficult challenging moments in order to have this realization and that is something I have found in my own business as well that those challenging times those moments where you wonder, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Can I get through this, those are the moments where when we make our way through them, we can mine them for the gold nuggets and the lessons that will support us moving forward. 

Ashley Cox  10:10  

oh, I love that so much. Because if you've been in business for any length of time, you just felt that deep in your soul, right? We all have those challenges. And even seven years in, I was just sharing with Lee before, you know that we hit record, I was like it, it's not always easy. You don't you still don't have things figured out, you're still navigating new experiences and new. You know, my coach calls it ceilings, like I'm always, you know, bumping up against another ceiling, whether it's an abundant ceiling, or it's a, you know, skill ceiling, ceiling, or you know, something of that nature, where you're like pushing and growing, and, and you're experiencing new challenges and new frustrations and new learning opportunities. And so I think that that's such a beautiful way to describe that. So I do want to say thank you to you and your husband and your whole family for your service. I know that that's not just the service member who's serving, but it is truly the entire family. And I thank you, you're welcome. I think that navigating that change, or that transition back to the states and both having to rediscover identities, was was certainly an opportunity to create something of your own while navigating through that transition and those difficulties. What I think is interesting about this, too, is that you got a sneak peek behind the scenes of building a business before you ever built your business. So you got like that nine month runway, talk a little bit about that, and how that set you up for success when you decided to open your coaching practice.

Lee Chaix McDonough  11:51  

Yes, and this is another reason why I really owe a debt of gratitude to my husband, because I was able to witness some of his challenges. And bear that in mind when I was starting my own business. Now his path was a little different than mine, and that he bought an established business, whereas I was building one from the ground up. But even he had a lot of foundational work to do when he started building new relationships with referral sources, connecting with staff as a leader, there were all sorts of new endeavors for him. And so I was able to observe and provide some counsel, because even though I wasn't coaching yet, and even though I'm pretty clear that he is my husband, he is not my client, although there are times where he'll come to me and I'll ask him, are you talking to your wife right now? Or are you talking to a business coach right now. And it's helpful for us to kind of maintain those boundaries. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  12:44  

But I will say that having that view that inside view was really informative. And also provided me with a sense of validation when I was experiencing my own challenges, because I think, especially when you are a solopreneur, or you're just starting out, you see all of these businesses, and whether it's on Facebook or the media, it all looks so bright and shiny and perfect. And so when you're going through your struggles, you're wondering, What am I doing wrong? And so seeing my husband, who was running a successful multimillion dollar dental practice, still having those challenges. It was like, oh, okay, this is not unique, this is normal. And so when I experienced those roadblocks, myself, I was able to remind myself, it's not something wrong with me, it's not something wrong with my business. Yes, there are probably some things we need to look at. But there's nothing inherently broken around this. It's part of the process. And that is something that I try to talk about, on my podcast with my clients on social media, because I want people to know that entrepreneurship is wonderful. And it's difficult, it's challenging. And if you're experiencing those challenges, it doesn't mean that you are wrong, or that things are broken, it means you're going through some expected milestones that we all do. And I think when we're transparent about that, then we promote connection, which is a huge value for me. We promote trust we, and it's being authentic to serve others. And that's another piece that's really important to me as well.

Ashley Cox  14:26  

That it's so important that we have these conversations, and I feel like there's just not enough of them ever. And so when we have the opportunity to say you know what, even if you are a multi six, figure, multi seven figure and beyond business owner, you are still going to have challenges and frustrations and things are not going to go perfectly. You know, I think that was one of my thought fallacies at the beginning of my business journey was when I get to this point, all my problems will be solved and everything's super easy, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's not true. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  15:02  

No, I wish it were. And what I'm finding now, and it took a while it took seven years to get to this point is that business is cyclical. And we much like if we think about, even we look to our own Earth, we look at harvest. And we look at how we need fallow periods for the soil to regenerate businesses a lot like that. And so there will be periods of growth, which feel really exciting and like we're on the right track, and then there will be time to harvest where we can kind of recoup those benefits. And then there's going to be a period of time where things are a little fallow, where it doesn't look like anything's growing. And it's that's winter, it can feel really dark. But if we remember that business is cyclical, and we continue to show up and do the work, then we can trust that this cycle will continue, this phase will come to an end. And we will experience that growth. Again.

Ashley Cox  15:58  

I don't know if you know how much I need this conversation today. But just for our listeners out there, if you're feeling that fallow season, if you're feeling like you're in winter, things are hard. I mean, we've worked with seven figure businesses here at Sprout HR that aren't profitable, or that they're having a really big investment year. And it feels like it's a stretch and a strain and things are pulling and it feels uncomfortable, know that you are not alone. And that we all experienced that. And I love this message of this being very cyclical. And I think this is kind of a perfect tie in to one of your best resources and one of my favorite resources of yours. And I'm going to show if you're watching us on YouTube, you're gonna get to see this but those listeners on the audio, you'll just have to pop over to YouTube later. But this I'm holding up is Lee's book, act on your business. Don't cry, Lee, I'm going to try not to cry to braving the storms of entrepreneurship and creating success through meaning, mindset and mindfulness. And I'm going to show our YouTube viewers if you can see this. I have written and highlighted and underlined. And this is a well loved well used book, because it's perfect for every season in business. Every season. I've gone through over the last I think you you released this about the same time I did 2018 2019. That's right. So every every year I read this book, every year I find more value, I find more comfort, I find more normalcy. So I'd love for you to share a little bit about what inspired you to write this book and who exactly did you write it for?

Lee Chaix McDonough  17:37  

So I think as with many authors, I had a bit of a dual inspiration. I was writing this for my clients, of course, the people that I wanted to serve the people I was serving, but in many ways I wrote it for myself, as well. I wrote the book I needed. I wrote act on your business. Because when I was working as a therapist, I was trained in a therapeutic modality called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or act for short. So that's the act in the title. And I find act to be an extraordinary therapeutic modality I used it when I worked for the VA for the Air Force. It's a really powerful approach to client work. And I knew that the basic principles were applicable not just in a therapy room, but in life. And I knew that because sorry. I completed a six month traineeship when I worked for the VA. And my act mentor basically said, if you are going to do this work with your clients, you have to be willing to do the work yourself. And so part of that six month experience was me, essentially. And I didn't know it at the time, but it was self coaching my way through all of the Act principles. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  18:57  

So when I started my own business, when I was experiencing the challenges of being a small business owner when I was coaching other business owners who also were experiencing those challenges, I found that I kept returning to those act principles, meaning mindset and mindfulness. And when I looked at the literature, I didn't see anything out there specifically for business owners and entrepreneurs that addressed mindset and meaning and mindfulness through an act lens. And I thought this is something that I can share. And so not only did I write it for the reader, but I wrote it for myself because I needed the reminder, you have this toolkit, you can do this and you know how to navigate through both the challenging times but also the beautiful times and to make space for all of it and understand it's all part of the process. And so that was the inspiration behind the book. It really was as much for me as it was for my readers.

Ashley Cox  19:55  

I feel the same exact way about my book. I think you know, it It really is where we identify a gap in the market or a lack in resources or tools or more support. And being able to say, this is what I needed. Here's what I learned. Here's how I navigated this. And you're brilliant ties between act and entrepreneurship and mindset and meaningfulness. And all of these concepts that you talk about in the book are absolutely, so spot on. And as someone who is a huge proponent of therapy, and it has a therapist and has had a therapist for many years now, I can easily see those concepts from my own work with my therapist and my own entrepreneurial journey. But even if you're not familiar with the concept of Act, or you've maybe never been in therapy, before you don't have a therapist, it's not such foreign concepts that you won't be able to grab hold of the content and really understand it and implement it right away in your business. And that's what I love so much about this is that you don't have to be knowledgeable or experienced in therapy whatsoever for these concepts to be super helpful tools on your journey.

Lee Chaix McDonough  21:09  

I appreciate that. And that really was a goal I had for the book, because I love act. And I am so grateful to the men and women who developed it. But they are, for the most part, doctorate level psychologists and researchers and as one is want to do, there's a lot of jargon, in the literature out there around that. And so I wanted my book to be accessible to those of us who are not fluent in psychological jargon. And I am fluent in it. And I still find it overwhelming when there's not relational frame theory. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, I can't my brain explode. Exactly, exactly. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  21:52  

So in the book, and I do credit the source, I believe that when we are taking inspiration from others, we need to acknowledge that legacy. And so I do give credit, but I also have no problem with creating my own lexicon for these approaches. And so that was something I really wanted to do with the book was to take this really valuable information, create language around it that was accessible, and specifically accessible for entrepreneurs and business owners, and then show how these tenants are really universally applicable. So whether it's therapy, whether it's business, whether it's relationships, or health or life, there is space for these ideas, in pretty much everything we do. And I hope that's the takeaway from the book, that's kind of the secret is that, even though it's called act on your business, it's really about the kind of life you want to live. And the way you want to show up for the people in your life for your community and for yourself. 

Ashley Cox  22:51  

Yes, oh, that all comes through. So so abundantly clear, and I think that's, that's the beauty of of a book like this is that you can apply it to so many different areas of your life, that it's not just, you know, fitting in this one little square hole or this one circle, or, you know, this little triangle shape, but you can really use it as something that ebbs and flows in all areas of your life. And I think it's also something to me having having read it several times and really found so much value in it aligns with your mission. So you know, creating the kind of meaningfulness in your life and in your business that is going to allow you to have a life and business that you don't have to sell your soul for. So I think this is a perfect segue into let's talk about your mission a little bit. Let's talk about, you know, did the mission come first? did the book come first? Which one inspired which? Or was it just kind of a, an amalgamation of all of these underlying values that you hold? As a person?

Lee Chaix McDonough  23:54  

I think it was all brewing in the same stew pot, you know, but I think the language for the book came first, actually, and then the language for the mission. But I think the mission was always present. I just didn't, and I still I'm still tweaking that and having fun with it, because language evolves, and we evolve in our businesses. But I will say that I think the book helped informed the mission because when I wrote that piece about not selling your soul, I really meant it. And when I talk about because I've been in the situation where I felt like I've had golden handcuffs where I've been in a job and I didn't feel like I was able to show up as myself, or serve my patients or my clients the way I wanted to. Because I was tied in to the paycheck, I needed the paycheck. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  24:41  

And that experience showed me that I never wanted to do that again. And at the core of that was because I was in a situation where I wasn't able to live in full alignment with my values. As much as I wanted to, and I advocated as much as I could, but because of the nature of bureaucracy and Big systems sometimes, when you're just a little voice and a big system, you're told to just kind of shut up in color. And that felt terrible. And I really struggled with, how can I continue to do this work in an environment that runs so counter to what I believe, but yet, I need the salary I got, you know, I've got bills to pay and, and, and all sorts of things. So I know that feeling well. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  25:26  

And what I realized was that there was a level of privilege that I had being able to step outside that I want to recognize that first and foremost that, that I do hold that privilege. And I think it's possible, regardless of what situation you're in, to take action in a way that aligns with your values. So even if you are being asked to do things that don't feel right, well, how can you do that and still find a way to advocate for yourself and to come back home to what you believe in and what matters most to you. And so when we are working in such a way, where we're not selling our souls, we're making choices, and decisions that are in alignment with our core values. And first, we need to know what those values are. Because then they serve as our barometer. And they give us sense of guidance, when we're not sure what to do they, for me my values, or my home base. And that's what allows me to run this business and to take action in a way that feels really good.

Ashley Cox  26:30  

Yes, Lee and I you are, you and I are just so aligned on this, I really truly think that our values are the foundation for everything, everything in our lives, everything in our businesses, everything in our families. And I've talked about values, probably until I'm blue in the face at this point, over the years, and we did a podcast episode on creating your value. So if you want to go take a listen to that, that's episode five, I believe, I'll also drop the link to that in the show notes. So if you're like wait, I, I've never really taken the time to, you know, think about my values intentionally, purposefully, mindfully, now's the time to do that, because that's where all of the hard decisions, all of the the goals or the boundaries that you want or need in your life evolve from. So how do you live this out? In your, in your own business? How do you live this mission of of fulfilling meaningful work without selling your soul?

Lee Chaix McDonough  27:30  

It's a bit of a balancing act sometimes, or I mean, you know, living a value oriented life is simple, but not easy. You know, because oftentimes, when we connect with our values, often not always, but often when we connect with our values, we know the decisions we should be making. Now, I say not always, because it's also not uncommon to experience a values clash, where you hold multiple values. And sometimes those values appear to compete with each other. And for me, the prime example, is my value of serving my clients and showing up powerfully for them, as well as being present for my family. And sometimes those interests compete with each other. And that makes it difficult to know what action to take in a given moment. Because it's not a matter of living out of alignment with my values. It's a matter of which one takes priority right now. And so there's also that need to think about what your priorities are both globally, like long term, but also in the moment. And understand that just because you choose a given value in a moment doesn't negate the other values you hold, it just means that one value is taking precedence in that moment. And then maybe later, you find a way to balance it out.

Ashley Cox  28:44  

Yes, yes. And this is kind of what I, I generally don't like the term work life balance for this very reason. Because to me, walking on a balance beam is what I think of right and when you're walking on a balance sheet, if you've never done it, just try to walk a straight line one foot in front of the other. Okay, you will find the challenge.

Lee Chaix McDonough  29:03  

But it's another simple but not easy thing, right? 

Ashley Cox  29:06  

Yeah. Oh, it looks simple. I'm just putting one foot heel to toe in front of the other walking the straight line. But it takes that core strength, it takes a lot of adjusting back and forth. And if you've ever watched the Walking Wallendas, who like walk a tightrope across the Grand Canyon, that takes incredible strength, incredible balance, it's a lot of effort, there's a lot of skill and time and practice that goes into that. And that just feels exhausting. And the way I like to think of you know, work life balance or values balance is as harmony you know, it's it's sometimes you know, the melody takes the front seat and sometimes you know, the the harmonies take the front seat, you know, there's always something taking the front seat because everything can't compete and be the number one priority all of the time. And I think that's exactly what you're talking about here is you know, what's the priority You globally, what's the priority in this moment? Maybe what's the priority that that I want in this moment, but I need for the future. Sometimes that can be the challenge, too, is like, well, this aligns today. But does it necessarily get me to where I'm going in the future. And a lot of times, and especially when we're leading teams, that is really, really tricky to balance.

Lee Chaix McDonough  30:25  

I found what exactly, but I think that's a really important point. And I think it actually harkens back to what we were talking about earlier, with regard to having cycles in your business, yes. And seasons and understanding that you may find in a given season, that one value takes precedence, and then you move into another season and another one does. And then two, we're human beings were designed to grow and evolve. If we don't, we become stagnant, and we die. And so as we grow and evolve, it also would make sense if our values evolve as well. And, you know, when I wrote the book, and when I was first starting out, actually, as an act therapist, I felt that for the most part, our values were fixed. And the way we expressed our values was what fluctuated, so service has always been a core value of mine. But the way service showed up in my life, when I was 25, and didn't have kids, is very different than how it shows up for me now at 43. But the value is the same. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  31:27  

And so I think there's some truth to that, I think some values do stay consistent over time, it's the way we express them that changes. But I also now have come around to the belief that sometimes our values shift and evolve as well. As we increase our knowledge as we connect with more people, as we broaden our horizons, maybe all of a sudden, something that we weren't even aware of before becomes so important that it becomes a core value. And so I've become a little more flexible, actually, in that over the last few years. And it's not so much that I think core values are fixed, and the behaviors change, I think I think some are, but I also think there's room for our values to expand as well. And that can feel like a bit of an identity crisis to when that happens. Because all of a sudden, the things that have made us feel anchored and connected, are in a state of flux. And, again, if that's happening to you doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It's just a sign of evolution. 

Ashley Cox  32:24  

Yes, it's good. It's a good sign, it means you're growing, that you've expanded your knowledge, your understanding of the world understanding of others, I think that's been part of my journey, for sure has been, you know, growing up in a very small rural town in southern West Virginia, I didn't have a lot of exposure. And as I got out into the world, and I went to college, and then I moved away, and I traveled around the world, you know, my World Vision just really opened up and expanded and gave me all new perspectives that I never had growing up as a child. And so I think that I can see that evolution of my own values over the years, from a place of gaining knowledge, gaining experience, gaining exposure, gaining perspective, and I think it's such a beautiful thing. Like we shouldn't fight values evolution. Oh, maybe we should make that a new thing. Values evolution.

Lee Chaix McDonough  33:18  

I love that. We're creating a values revolution around evolution.

Ashley Cox  33:23  

Yes. I love it. I love it. So how do you help women bring this all together in their own lives so that they can create those businesses where they they don't feel like they're selling their souls, but they're finding, you know, the meaning in their work and in the the harmony that they're creating within their lives and works.

Lee Chaix McDonough  33:44  

That's another thing that has evolved in my business over the last seven years as well. When I first started out, I did so through business coaching. And I think because of my background, as a therapist, I attracted a lot of therapists and health care providers as clients early on. And so my mission was to help them grow their therapy practices, or grow their their healthcare practices in a way that was values aligned, where they were balancing profit, with purpose. And that felt really good. But what I found was that the more I did that work, the more my own clients were saying, Hmm, this coaching thing, tell me about it. How did you become a coach? And can you help me become a coach, I want to explore this. And I realized and I honestly kind of fought it for a while. Yes, I kept thinking to myself, there's so many experts out there and coaching. There's so many coach training programs. Who am I to do this? You needed this book? Yeah, exactly. I did. I needed my own book, part of the reason I wrote it, but over time, I really came around to this idea that no, I am the person to do this because I believe in the power of coaching. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  34:55  

I believe that this is going to sound really like a rainbows and unicorns, but I really do believe that coaching has the power to change the world. I think part of the reason that we experience such conflict in our world is because we're so divided, we're polarized, and we don't know how to listen to each other. And we don't know how to speak to each other in a way that seeks to connect, not convince or convert. And for me, that's what coaching is about. It's about it. The fundamental skills of coaching are around deep listening, not just active listening, but deep listening, and knowing how to reflect back knowing how to ask engaging questions that are provocative, but in the best way possible. And so that, to me, is why coaching is a vehicle for connection and growth. And so that's why I've chosen then to really focus on helping people develop their skills and mastery as a coach, and as business owners, because most of us who are coaches have our own businesses, so we need that strong foundation to support it. But so my little area of the world is really about helping people develop their proficiency as coaches so that then they can have that impact that ripple and create that change in the world. 

Ashley Cox  36:17  

So good, so good. And I know that you have a certification program that is accredited. So I would love for you to talk a little bit about that, because I don't see that in the coaching space. And I feel like that's something that really sets you apart from what other people are doing and adds value and depth and meaning to the work that your clients get to do with you as well.

Lee Chaix McDonough  36:43  

Yes, thank you. I am so excited because I just completed a pretty rigorous re accreditation process with the international coaching Federation. And so now my certification program is accredited as both a level one and level two program for ICF. Which means if you ever wanted to get your coaching credential through ICF, if you ever wanted to become an associate certified coach or a professional certified coach, you can do that through the certified clarity coach program that I run. And we really focus on the level one program, the 60 hour program, we focus on those core coaching fundamentals, the deep listening, how to structure a coaching session, how to show it for your clients. And then I have a whole module devoted to act and how we can pull act principles into our coaching process as well. And so that first program gets you all set up everything you need mentor coaching, peer coaching, all of it to get your ACC with ICF. Lots of lots of acronyms and letters.

Ashley Cox  37:45  

Alphabet soup over here. I mean, I know a little bit about that being an HR.

Lee Chaix McDonough  37:50  

Yes. So bear with me on that. And then for people who want to continue their journey who want to work towards that PCC, the professional certified coach, that's where the second part of the program comes in. That's the full level two program where you become a master certified clarity coach, we go into more advanced coaching skills, we go into topics around relationship coaching, and group coaching. And really, it's designed to just take you even deeper into the coaching process. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  38:17  

And so now that we've completed this whole re accreditation rigamarole, I'm excited to be launching the next cohort and my level one program. I think our start date is May 31. So we're just starting to accept applications right now, which is really exciting. And I also made a commitment to keep this cohort small, there is not going to be more than 15 students in it because it's me like you are working with learning with me. And I want to make sure that I can provide that individualized attention and support to my people. And I think because I am a bit of a boutique business in that sense, it does set me apart from some of the wonderful other coach training companies out there that are larger, and so they have larger class sizes, they have a larger staff, there's a benefit to that I I love being able to learn from multiple people and have differing voices. But I also think there's a benefit to having a really small cohort where you're able to build that connection and trust. And so that's that's where I'm at for this cohort. I'm pretty excited about it.

Ashley Cox  39:21  

I am just so proud of you and just getting to watch your business journey has been such a joy for me and it's such an exciting thing for me to see you grow and to create this and to go through the accreditation process and then go to through re accreditation process and and I just know that you pour so much heart and soul into everything you do. 

Ashley Cox  39:41  

So if you're listening and you're thinking, Man, I'm you know, I'm on this coaching journey, and I could really use some support like Lee is your gal, make sure that you reach out to her and if you're like, you know what, guys, I'm not a coach, but I've gotten some value out of this conversation today because, you know, we've talked about a lot of things that aren't necessarily Coach related, I would also remind you that as a leader, you are a coach. And so maybe you don't go to get a certification, you don't need an accreditation process. You don't need this, you know, 30 hours or 60 hours of your training and these letters after your name, you know, like Lee and I have all the alphabet soup. But maybe you want to increase or enhance your coaching skills as a leader with your team. I think there's incredible value. And it's a lot of very undervalued skill set that will absolutely support you and your leadership journey will help you understand your team better will help you listen more deeply for the things they're saying and the things they're not saying. So that you can create more of that connection. And I think a great place to start is least coaching quiz would that be would that be a good assumption, Lee?

Lee Chaix McDonough  40:53  

I think that'd be a fun place to start, I created the Discover Your Coaching Style quiz to help people determine what they lead with as a coach, what their style is, there's five different styles. And here's the secret, we talked about this a little bit before we got started, Ashley, but the secret is, we're not just one type of coach, were really a blend of all five of the styles. But for most of us, there is a style that we lead with. And when we know that, then we have better understanding of what comes naturally to us what our strengths are, and then also where some of our blind spots may be, and how that could actually work against us if we're not aware of them. That's also when we can call on the other four styles to compensate for some of that. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  41:40  

And so I think when we know what our natural coaching style is, it allows us then to really step into our strengths, be aware of our limitations, and show up and serve the people in our life powerfully. And I really want to echo your point that even if you're not interested in becoming a professional coach or getting a certification, I still believe that coaching skills are valuable, regardless of the role you play. And that's both professionally but also personally as well. I've incorporated some of my coaching skills into my conversations with my teenage boys. And it has been incredible, where we go from one word answers to really deep conversations. And so that's why I believe, again, that coaching has the power to change the world. And even if coaching is not a professional goal of yours, having those skills in your toolkit can change your life.

Ashley Cox  42:34  

Yes, I could not agree more. I could not agree more. So folks can find Your Discovery Coaching Style quiz at coaching quiz.com. Again, we will put it in the show notes for you because we like to make things simple around here. And I took the quiz and I got the intuitive coach. And as I was reading through it, I was like, Yes, this is me. Yes, absolutely. Oops, yep, that blind spot, also me. So I think it's a really amazing tool. It's super simple to use, it's easy to understand, it gives you such great clarity and perspective around what is really working for you. And some areas to watch out for. 

Ashley Cox  43:12  

And as an intuitive coach, one of the blind spots that really resonated for me was kind of knowing or intuiting what somebody is thinking or feeling before they've really made those connections for themselves. And so just reminding myself slow down, walk in lockstep with the person, you know, we do a lot of coaching with our clients, you know, here at Sprout HR. And sometimes I can be like, connecting the dots 50 steps ahead, I'm like, Oh, I see all the things that are happening. And I always have to remind myself slow down, actually help them connect the dots, because I don't want to overrun people, because I already have intuited what what I know is going on, I always tell people, I'm like, Listen, you give me 30 seconds, tell me what's going on. I'm going to I'm going to know I'm going to know what's happening. And we're going to fix it. But I think the important part too, is helping people to come along that journey to tap into their own intuition and their own gut instinct. So I love that this is such a helpful resource and tool and gives you practical advice to help you in your coaching style and your coaching journey.

Lee Chaix McDonough  44:17  

Well, thank you, I love that quiz. I'm pretty proud of it. And also unlike a lot of other quizzes. I know sometimes I'll take a quiz and I'll be like, Ha, maybe I should take it again to see what the other types are. When you take the quiz, you will get access to information about all five types. Because again, we are a combination of all five types. So why not learn about all of them. So I want to make that information readily available to anyone who chooses to take the quiz.

Ashley Cox  44:43  

Yes, I loved that part. I was like, oh, because I'm just I don't know, maybe it's because it's my personality. Maybe it's because I've worked in HR for almost 20 years now, but I'm just nosy. I want to know, well, what are the other styles? What are they doing? What do I not know about them that I need to know?

Lee Chaix McDonough  44:58  

We'll call it nosy. We'll just we'll just call Lifelong Learning curious. Curiosity. 

Ashley Cox  45:02  

I like that sort of I'm always curious that my family calls me 50 questions. So, you know, not even 25 questions, I got all 50 of them coming at you. Well, I'm so honored that we got to have this conversation today, Lee, this is absolutely been so much fun. So insightful. So I before we close out our conversation, though, you know, it's time for our favorite segment of the show, which is imagine the impact. And this is where we get to envision what it could look like for folks to take action today. So Lee, I'd love for you to help paint the vision for the kind of impact our listeners could create through one key thought, takeaway and action item from our conversation today.

Lee Chaix McDonough  45:43  

As we talked about, I do believe that coaching and coaching skills can change the world. And it really starts with effective deep listening. And what many of us do when when we listen is we're quiet. And we're, we're taking it in, and we process it internally. And then we say what we want to say, sometimes we don't do the processing first. But let's go with that. Let's say we process and then and then we say what we want to say what I would encourage people to do, and this is a fundamental coaching skills, simple, but not always easy it takes practice is to practice what I call confirming and affirming before we share our piece. So confirming looks like making sure you understand what the person saying that's done easily by kind of restating and then affirming is placing what they said into context. 

Lee Chaix McDonough  46:31  

Now affirming doesn't mean agreeing, you don't have to agree with the person to affirm them. But affirming looks like saying something to be effective. You know what it makes a lot of sense that you would feel that way, given what you've experienced, or it's totally understandable that that would be where you're coming from. And those statements, let the person know that not only do you hear them, but you understand them. And again, maybe you agree with them, maybe you don't, that's kind of irrelevant. But what I find is that when we confirm and affirm as part of our listening process, it lets the other person feel seen, which is such a powerful gift to give to someone because how often are we really truly seen and heard by people in our lives not often. And it only takes like 5-10 seconds to confirm and affirm. And then you have built a level of trust and connection that you can build from. And that that is how we change the world.

Ashley Cox  47:29  

Imagine the impact if we could truly help people feel valued and heard and seen. Imagine the impact on your business, on our communities and in the world. Where is the best place for folks to connect with you leave because I think everybody needs to to find you to follow you to revel in your brilliance if we will.

Lee Chaix McDonough  47:54  

Oh, my goodness. Well, thank you, I would love to continue this conversation with the listeners of your podcast. So the best way to find me, basically a coach with clarity everywhere. So you can go to coach with clarity.com you can find me on Facebook, Instagram Tiktok, at coach with clarity. And of course, that's also the name of my podcast, which you can learn more about on my website or wherever you listen to your shows.

Ashley Cox  48:16  

And as always, we will link all of that up in the show notes because why not make it easy for you to go. And finally and learn more about her and her work and the ways that she is truly supporting humans in fulfilling wholesome, mindful lives and businesses. So thank you again, Lee, for joining me on the impact rebel podcast. What a brilliant conversation is so insightful, so inspiring, so good to feel that we're normalizing some of the harder parts of running a business regardless of where you are in your journey. So as always, it is absolutely a delight to chat with you.

Lee Chaix McDonough  48:55  

Thank you so much for having me, Ashley. I've loved our conversation.

Ashley Cox  48:59  

Oh my goodness. Thank you. And thank you, dear leaders for tuning in today. I hope you joined my Converse enjoyed my conversation with Lee and found tremendous value and how you too can create that flexible, meaningful business without selling your soul because it absolutely is possible. As always, it's an honor and a privilege to be here with and for you on your leadership journey.