11. How to Be a Leader AND Stay True to Yourself
Have you ever felt like you needed to become someone completely different in order to be an effective leader?
If so, I recorded this episode just for you. <3
While more and more women are finally stepping into leadership roles, one thing continues to plague us on this journey – our self-concept.
How we think about and see ourselves as leaders.
Unfortunately, most leadership development programs in companies and those available to a wider audience don’t even address this topic.
Well, I’m tackling it head on today on The Impact Ripple.
Because until we address this part of our leadership development, the rest of it doesn’t matter.
You can have the best leadership skills in the world, but if you don’t think about or see yourself as a leader, they may never get a chance to shine.
Join me as we discuss our self-concept as leaders and leading like yourself on this episode!
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The most overlooked key of becoming a leader
Identifying your core leadership qualities and skills
An activity to help you develop a stronger self-concept
Mentioned in This Episode:
Transcription for Episode 11 - How to Be a Leader AND Stay True to Yourself
Ashley Cox 0:04
Welcome to Episode 11 of the impact ripple podcast. Your go to source for hiring and leadership made simple, doable and fun for visionary female business owners. I'm your host, Ashley Cox, author, certified HR expert and founder of sprout HR. And I believe that you don't have to change who you are. To be a great leader you already are one. Join me as we kiss uncertainty and overwhelm goodbye and say hello to the tools and support you need to grow a profitable, sustainable, impactful team with more confidence and ease.
Ashley Cox 0:44
On today's episode, we're talking about a topic that's very near and dear to my heart, leading like yourself. Most of our episodes here on the impact rebel are scripted out a little bit in advance. And this is for a few reasons. Number one to make sure that I stay on track, because I'm easily distracted. And I can go off on a tangent real quick to to make sure that I don't forget any key points that I want to share with you about whatever that episodes topic is. And refer back to point number one. And number three, to make sure that you walk away with tangible action items. Because if you're going to take time to listen to me have a conversation with you about a specific topic, I want you to be able to walk away from that episode and say, Okay, here's what I can do today.
Ashley Cox 1:35
But today's episode is going to be a little bit different. I'm diving in, unscripted and off the cuff. But because this is a topic that is so very near and dear to my heart, I don't think I could do it justice by scripting it out fully. So I've got a handful of bullet points to help me stay focused and on topic, and all of the passion that my heart can muster for you for today's episode. So are you ready? Let's let's do this together. Let's see how this goes.
Ashley Cox 2:09
So today's topic is all about leading like you. And women have only started rising into leadership roles in the very recent past. And more so within the last couple of decades, right. And while more and more companies are putting their money where their mouth is, and supporting women's leadership, leadership development and attempts to create a pipeline of women leaders within their companies, their organizations, there's another factor at play, aside from the way that companies are redefining and reestablishing their systems for hiring and promotion. And I think this impacts the small business world, as well. And it's one of those unseen factors of women stepping into leadership roles. And that is our perception of ourselves as leaders in the workplace, whether we work for someone else in a large company or organization, or we're leading our own businesses, the programs, the developmental opportunities, the additional trainings and workshops that companies are putting in place to address the gap of not having enough women in leadership positions, is only addressing the process. But they don't address is the becoming. And this is the most important piece of the puzzle that we have to look at. In order to get more women into leadership positions, whether it's in our own businesses, or within the context of larger companies and organizations. We have to look internally and see ourselves as leaders, as well as seeing other people view us as leaders.
Ashley Cox 4:09
You see, we don't just simply take on a leadership title or a leadership role and magically become a leader. I mean, we do trial by fire, right? Or baptism by fire. But the leadership process really has to start within. We must first believe ourselves as women to be leaders before we can truly show up in the world as leaders. But there's a lot of shooting happening out there with women and leadership. And I see this every single day in my work. I should be this or I should be that. I should be more assertive. I should be more decisive. I shouldn't be more confident. I should be more experienced. I should, I should, I should. But these are just stories that we're telling ourselves.
Ashley Cox 5:13
What stories do you have about being a leader? I bet you've got some. What shoulds? are you placing on yourself? Whether you're leading a team right now, or whether you have yet to hire your first team member? Back in episode one, we talked all about the toxic stories that we have, and believe about ourselves, and how those hold us back. So what toxic stories are you holding on to about being or becoming a leader? In the introduction of every episode of The Impact Report, you've probably noticed this now, if you've been listening for a while, I say one specific line that is and has been a foundational element in my business journey, and my work with women over the past six and a half years. You don't have to change who you are, to be a great leader, because you already are one.
Ashley Cox 6:17
And I believe that with every fiber of my being, as we discussed in that episode, episode one, we are all leaders in one way or another, and often in many different capacities in our lives. Some of us are mothers, we're caregivers, to elderly parents, we're leading functions in our church or religious groups, we are volunteering in our communities, we're leading our households. And sometimes we don't realize all of the leadership roles that we have. And even more often, we don't give ourselves enough credit, where credit is due. Yet we fill those roles with our best qualities, our best skills, our best traits. And we often hear it from other people, but we kind of shrug it off and say, oh, you know, I'm just, I'm just doing my job. I'm just doing what needs to be done.
Ashley Cox 7:21
I want you to pause right now and think about something kind that you've been told. When you were in charge. Maybe you were heading up the school bake sale, organizing volunteers at your local animal shelter, leading a program in your church group, whatever it is, you were in charge of something. What kinds of things did the people working with and around you say about you? Did they admire your organizational skills and tell you I could have never kept all of those marking pieces and parts moving together? Did they mentioned how you kept everything fun, even when it was chaotic and challenging? Did they tell you that they love how you are able to rally folks around a common cause or a common goal and how people are inspired by you and follow you.
Ashley Cox 8:20
These are important things to think about to reflect on. And to remember, because these, my friend are your leadership qualities shining bright, and being reflected back to you. You don't have to be anything other than who you are in this world, in order to be an incredible leader. Our society is so hell bent on fixing what is quote, wrong with us, especially as women that we forget all that is good and right within us. You already have so many wonderful qualities, strengths, and talents that are uniquely you.
Ashley Cox 9:12
The last thing I want for you to do is strip those away and try to become someone that you are not someone that you're not meant to be just to step into a leadership role. You see, you don't have to lead like anyone else, regardless of gender, or status, or experience or any other label we want to put on it. All you have to do is lead like you lead from your strengths from your heart, from your purpose. And if there are gaps in our abilities as leaders which spoiler alert, there always are. We get to hire other amazing and unique human beings to fill those gaps with their own brilliance and talent, which means we get to stay and our own brilliance while allowing someone else to be in there's how amazing is that.
Ashley Cox 10:25
So to end our episode today, with a tangible takeaway, because you know, I'm a big fan of those right, I have a short journaling exercise that I want to share with you, from Chapter five of my book, transform your stories. And in case you aren't aware, my book is not just a book that you read, and you say, oh, my gosh, that was amazing, I feel so inspired, then you shove it in the back of your bookshelf, and you never think of it again, it's it's an experiential reading process. So you read a little bit and you do a journaling exercise, you read a little bit, you do an activity, you read a little bit, you ponder on something, I really wanted for this book to be an engaging and interactive experience for you. Because I personally, when I'm reading, find more value, when I'm actually engaged with the content, instead of just reading words, and then putting it out of my memory. It's something about when you write, you engage different parts of your mind of your of your memory of your information centers. I'm not a brain scientist, I have no idea, you know all the details of this. But it's really powerful that when you're engaged in the process, more than just listening more than just seeing the words on the page, that you're able to take that information and do something powerful with it. So that's a side tangent. See, I told you, I get on these little tangents. But I hope that that helped.
Ashley Cox 11:57
So for this particular exercise, this is in chapter five of my book, transform your stories, I want you to grab your journal, or a blank piece of paper or open a Google Doc, wherever you feel most comfortable. And I want you to take some time to reflect on your positive qualities and traits. This will help you call forth your natural leadership talents. But I don't want you to judge whatever comes up during this exercise. And I've got some prompt questions for you. So give me just one second to explain this. I don't want you to judge. Because often, when we don't think of ourselves or see ourselves as leaders, we have a tendency to brush our natural leadership qualities aside, as though they don't count. So an example of this might be compassion, it's easy to say that's not a real leadership quality. But I'd argue that it is an important quality that we lack in this world and desperately need more of. So if it comes to mind, write it down, no judging.
Ashley Cox 13:15
So here are three journaling prompts, that I want you to walk through. So take 10 minutes, take 30 minutes, however much time you need. Here's your three prompts.
Ashley Cox 13:28
Number one, list 10 positive characteristics or qualities that you see in yourself. I know we started right out of the gate with like the hardest one. And if it takes you a while, and if you have to keep coming back to this list every day for the next three days, do it. But I want you to get to 10 positive characteristics or qualities that you see in yourself,
Ashley Cox 13:55
number two list 10 things you do well in life or business. So these are not characteristics or qualities, these are skills, right? So maybe a characteristic or quality might be that you are compassionate. A skill that you do well in life or business might be that you are exceptional at organizing lots of tiny details. Okay, see the difference there.
Ashley Cox 14:22
And number three, lists 10 compliments that you've received from others recently. Or it could be if you're thinking back on a project or a time where you were in charge, that you think about those compliments that you received, maybe it's a meaningful project that you've worked on and that you're really proud of. But I want you to list 10 compliments that you've received from other people. And there are no parameters on this. They could be family, they could be friends, they could be colleagues or business acquaintances. They could be random strangers that you just happen to meet During whatever project you were in charge of. So no parameters there. Okay.
Ashley Cox 15:06
Journaling is such an excellent way for us to wade through the toxic stories that we're telling ourselves and bring our brilliance to light. And like I said, whether you spend 10 minutes or whether you spend 30 minutes doing this exercise, or it's spread out across a few days, that's okay. It will start to shift the way that you are thinking about yourself, who you are being in this world, who you are becoming in this world, and who you are as a leader. I walk through many more helpful journaling and other exercises in my book to help you become a courageous and confident leader.
Ashley Cox 15:55
So if you liked this exercise, you can grab a free sample of transform your stories at sprout, hr.co forward slash transform, and you can also buy the book while you're there. So as we conclude this episode today, it's time for what's quickly become my favorite segment. Imagine the impact, where we get to envision what it could look like for you to take action today. Women are often the ones who don't see themselves as leaders, even when others around them do. Yet we each have unique and powerful qualities that are desperately needed in leadership. And in this world. Right now. The beautiful part about leadership is that you get to lead like you. You don't have to lead like anyone else in this world. Good news, right? So are you up to the challenge? Imagine the impact that having more leaders in the world with your unique skill set and leadership qualities as well as their own unique skill set and leadership qualities would have on our businesses, our communities, and our world.
Ashley Cox 17:23
If you found this episode helpful today, we would love for you to leave us a rating and or review on your favorite podcast app. This helps our show get in front of even more women who need to hear the message that they are exactly the kind of leaders we need more of in this world. Thank you so much for joining me today on this special episode of the impact rebel podcast. It's an honor to be here with and for you on your leadership journey.